“God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.” That is one of the most common platitudes I’ve heard concerning gay men. So I have to ask myself what is it about two men being together romantically and sexually that some people find so difficult to swallow?
Men are strong and sexy creatures. They are a mystery unto themselves, an intriguing book we can’t put down, but we don’t want to put it down. We want more. At the heart of our fascination lies two of the most pleasurable, confusing, and exhilarating things in every language, love and sex. And men are at the very center of both for straight women and gay men.
“The more I got to know my muse, and the more of his life he introduced me to, the more I came to see just how much like me he was.”
It was out of my sexual curiosity that I purposely began watching gay couples whenever I saw them. I wanted to understand how two men could build a relationship when their very sexual foundation was the same. An avid people watcher, I threw myself into the task to start, but I still couldn’t find satisfaction until I met my muse. A gay man, he invited me into his life to have a look inside his relationship with his loving partner. I was still a vanilla girl, and everything I saw and heard shocked the hell out of me.
The more I got to know my muse, and the more of his life he introduced me to, the more I came to see just how much like me he was. He had been searching for the things that I still search for, love, trust, honesty, and friendship that is deep and abiding. He wanted a man who would be faithful to him and would be there for him. Learning this just blew everything I’d ever heard about gay men apart. I’d heard they were nasty and sexually perverted and more promiscuous than prostitutes. I thought they were just looking to get laid at every opportunity with no thought of commitment or love.
I heard these things from some of my aunts and uncles whose opinions on certain things I thought to be one-hundred percent true. So imagine my surprise when I discovered otherwise. What my muse was developing with his partner was something being built on a strong foundation that has lasted for the last ten plus years now. Their relationship is a beautiful thing and stronger than some heterosexual relationships I’ve seen. They are partners who share their life’s joys and sorrows, and their communication is enviable.
My muse isn’t an alpha, but he’s not the feminine kind of guy either. He’s every beta male character I try to create, and his partner is the epitome of the strong sexual alpha male that every woman drools over and wants to be with. He’s a good guy with a big heart who likes to open doors for his man now and again, and every time I create an alpha, he’s the blueprint.
“So, my novels are full of drawn-out sex scenes that depict men being turned on and aroused by sexy underwear and T-shirts.”
I like to write about strong men with not as strong men. I like the dynamics of an alpha male with a dominating nature. A man who is confident and knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go out there and get it. In my books there is plenty of sexy underwear because to me a man is no different in his needs to feel sexy and desired by his partner, and my muse assured me that I was perfectly correct in my assumption.
Men may handle their sexuality different but they like foreplay too sometimes and enjoy it as women do. Gay men use what is available to entice their partners. So, my novels are full of drawn-out sex scenes that depict men being turned on and aroused by sexy underwear and T-shirts. That’s the gay man’s lingerie, and I was floored when my muse showed it to me. However, it’s a great idea to me. Every sexual relationship needs a little spice now and then.
Although it must be said, in my novels that spice is a must for nearly every sexual encounter. I just see gay men as men of an intensely sexual nature, but then again it could be just my dirty mind.
“Gay men should have the same obligations to a spouse during the marriage and after as a straight man.”
Seeing my muse and his partner together, I can’t imagine why all the fuss over gay marriages. They are as married as couples can be and have never taken any vows except to each other. So, why not allow gay marriages? Why not allow them to have all of the same benefits of a spouse that a heterosexual couple has? Saying no doesn’t change the fact that they are attracted to men, fall in love with men. Denying them certain rights and privileges has not and will not prevent them from being together.
Gay men face the same challenges with their relationships as lovers and families as any heterosexual couples. So, I’m all for making gay marriages legal in this country. Gay men should have the same obligations to a spouse during the marriage and after as a straight man. After all, gay men love as hard and as strong as heterosexual males and when temptation comes calling, gay men don’t always walk away either.
But on the whole I think gay relationships, like straight ones, are beautiful and natural. I write ManLove because I am an intensely curious female where gay men are concerned. I admit I’m like a voyeur looking into the half-open curtains to see what sexual delights I might find them up to. No, I’m not a peeper, but I take every opportunity my muse gives me to look inside his life. I find the sensuality of two men together arousing and interesting. Their romances are curiously enthralling, but I think some of them work so well even in the face of the dangers and hatred they face because they are a minority. By so being a minority, they are forced to be a support system for each other which strengthen the gay community as well as the relationships of couples.
By E.A. Reynolds