Women Love ManLove: Jess Buffett

Why is womens’ interest in ManLove so shocking?

Okay, I admit. No one was more surprised than me when I realized that I enjoyed reading M/M. I stumbled onto the genre while reading an M/F that had an M/M element. I kept going back to the two male characters and found myself wanting to yell at them, “Just bloody kiss already!” When they finally did I found myself intrigued, and before I knew it I wanted more. I wanted more than the kiss. I wanted some steamy ManLove action. And I wanted to know how that worked.

It was official…my love for ManLove was born that day, and I discovered this whole world that I hadn’t even contemplated before. Oh, why hadn’t I thought of it before? Now, while I was surprised, I can honestly say that I have never had a moment where I stopped and thought isn’t this weird? Or I really shouldn’t like this. I enjoyed what I did and it seemed perfectly normal.

“I have encountered so much shock, and even some hostility, from people who blatantly refuse to understand why as a woman I could find ManLove so beautiful, sexy, and intriguing.”

So you can imagine the huge surprise I received at peoples’ reactions when I began writing M/M…but not for the reasons you may think. It was because I am a woman. While those in our community who love to read and write M/M consider it normal (as I did) for a woman to want to write a gay love story, the outside world seems to have a very different view.

Call me sheltered, call me naive, but it really did surprise me that it would bother and even upset someone who otherwise didn’t have a problem with homosexuals.

I have encountered so much shock, and even some hostility, from people who blatantly refuse to understand why as a woman I could find ManLove so beautiful, sexy, and intriguing. I had one person that even went as far as to ask if I secretly wanted to be a gay man. Seriously? Even more shocking was that this person deemed it normal for their own husband to find two women together attractive, but still maintained that it was “weird” and “maybe even a little wrong” for a woman to do the same with two men.

Come again? Are you going to ask if your husband secretly wants to be a lesbian?

Her response to that was, “Don’t be silly.”

Needless to say, curiosity peeked after this (as it always does when it comes to the topic of ManLove), and I found myself searching the net. There were so many questions and responses on this topic, and again, I found myself reading the same thing over and over. A large part of society really does believe that it is “normal” for straight men to find two women together hot, but a woman is “strange” or “hiding secret tendencies” if she feels the same about two men. More surprising was the fact that most of these comments would come from people who claim not to have a problem with seeing two men showing affection towards each other.

So if it’s not the act itself, but that a woman may enjoy the sight or thought of it, then why is there a problem? No one can seem to answer this question with a legitimate reason.

Ladies and gentlemen…two men together is hot. Two naughty men together are even hotter, deal with it.

Why shouldn’t women enjoy M/M? Why shouldn’t we write it?

People have said for years, “Write what you know.” I say, “Write what you like.” One author here at ManLoveAuthors wrote that if they only wrote what they knew then their writing career would have been over long ago. And they’re right. We would all be severely limited. But what we like…well, that’s a never-ending list, isn’t it?

“Who knew reading about two sexy men getting hot and heavy could be so educational, so enlightening?”

Even when I write other genres, half of what I’m writing is purely in the form of what I think my character might say, think, or react like, because I am not a man and therefore have no idea what it feels like for a man during sex with a woman, or what he experiences while hanging out and bonding with the guys. But I write it anyway because I’m interested, I’m curious, and let’s admit it…hot men getting all worked up is damn sexy. Now go ahead and add two men together and you’re right there with me, aren’t you?

I love learning more about ManLove. It’s about being educated and given an insight into this whole different world. It’s a little surreal to think that I am now included in a world I’ve always been curious about, and that I have this opportunity that wouldn’t have been given to me otherwise. I find that my understanding of men has actually expanded—to a point (men will always remain an enigma to a degree), and I will write my male characters differently now, regardless of their sexuality. They have become more three-dimensional to me in a way they weren’t before. Who knew reading about two sexy men getting hot and heavy could be so educational, so enlightening? Clearly this was where my English teacher in high school went wrong.

ManLove has so much to offer, and I can’t help but feel a little sorry for those people who are missing out. Men are powerful and sexual creatures who open up a world of possibilities when paired together. I will always love to read and write other genres, but for me it will always come back to M/M, to the ManLove, because it was what reignited my passion for the written word when I had started losing interest. It’s brought me to where I am today (some place I never saw coming), and I believe made me a better person for the understanding and knowledge it has given me.

Having two strong men falling for one another, overcoming the obstacles that society puts in front of them, and embracing who they are together sends such a powerful message of love. And it’s a message I’m proud to be a part of.


photo credit: mugfaker via photopin cc


  1. Kerry-Lea Buffett /

    I am one person who has change my mind ,i’ve had gay friends and never thought anything of it and love is love, you can’t always pick who you fall in love with. So I think more people should read MM book’s to understand its all about LOVE.

  2. This was a very interesting read. Thanks for posting!